O brave young achievers, you have now achieved the pinnacle
And forgive me if it sounds cynical
But as we gather to celebrate ya and hail ya
It is time for you to think about the benefits of failya.
Failure is essential, a form of mortality.
Without failure, we have a poor sense of reality.
It is all well and good to strive for glory,
But today's grievous mistake is tomorrow's humorous story.
And one should not be a person whose memoirs consist
Of notes from the classes you never missed.
Garrison Keillor, "Address to the Harvard Chapter of Phi Beta Kappa, Sanders Theatre, June 2008"
And forgive me if it sounds cynical
But as we gather to celebrate ya and hail ya
It is time for you to think about the benefits of failya.
Failure is essential, a form of mortality.
Without failure, we have a poor sense of reality.
It is all well and good to strive for glory,
But today's grievous mistake is tomorrow's humorous story.
And one should not be a person whose memoirs consist
Of notes from the classes you never missed.
Garrison Keillor, "Address to the Harvard Chapter of Phi Beta Kappa, Sanders Theatre, June 2008"
TL;DR
There is extensive research supporting an association between an internal locus of control and increased academic performance, beginning as early as childhood.
Haig Kouyoumdjian Ph.D.
What that means is: changing your grade is up to you and your abilities to change yourself with as much help from me as you want and need, not your abilities to convince me (either intellectually or emotionally) you "deserve" a different grade.
Haig Kouyoumdjian Ph.D.
What that means is: changing your grade is up to you and your abilities to change yourself with as much help from me as you want and need, not your abilities to convince me (either intellectually or emotionally) you "deserve" a different grade.
What Can I Do to Change My Grade?
Note: If I've made a calculation error, you don't have to read this page. "You miscalculated my grade" is 100% a-ok with me. Bring the test/assignment to me, tell me where I goofed, and I'll make it right.
Some students (and a parent or two) have taken great offense when they read this page. I can understand how one can, especially if they're dealing with the cognitive dissonance that arises from receiving a grade that's unexpected. I can't really apologize for this page per se, but I do hope that you're reading this to understand how you can become a better student that can maximize their potential in my class, even against the raw emotion that might come from your current situation. I want you to improve as a student in the future and not look back toward the past. Setting up one of the arguments below are a distraction to you, the student (and perhaps a parent reading this), and you're actually doing yourself a disservice by ruminating on to these negative thoughts. Like most everything else, academics is a skill that you can learn, and I'm here to help you do that (indeed, my teaching philosophy demands I help you in this manner).
If you want to raise your grade, you'll need to improve some aspects of your academic performance. I'm more than willing to help, but you'll have to initiate contact with me if you want to move forward. In general, human beings don't react well when their expectations are violated; we're simply wired to want things to go our way most of the time. You're human for feeling hurt, helpless, disappointed, or even angry when things don't go your way. This doesn't mean that you have to give into your immediate reaction. Step back, take a moment to consider that you're enrolled in college to better your future, not approve of or change your past (again, this assumes that you've come to college to learn, not just to get a piece of paper).
Please remember: I grade to an absolute scale, not a relative one that takes your excuse into account, no matter how valid you believe it is. You don't deserve any particular grade, you earn your grade. Your grade isn't based off of how hard you work for it, it only depends on the final result that I have in front of me. I understand that you might have a self-imposed or externally-imposed reason for not achieving excellence (unfortunately, I believe American culture [amongst others] inordinately prioritizes emotional comfort before problem solving, which is a severe disservice to many students), but let's take the time and effort to figure out how to work with what you've got to give for the remainder of the term.
(Interestingly, it appears that others, including historians, mathematicians (and again), physicists, chemists, and even anti-theists[?] feel the same way as I about this issue)
Some students (and a parent or two) have taken great offense when they read this page. I can understand how one can, especially if they're dealing with the cognitive dissonance that arises from receiving a grade that's unexpected. I can't really apologize for this page per se, but I do hope that you're reading this to understand how you can become a better student that can maximize their potential in my class, even against the raw emotion that might come from your current situation. I want you to improve as a student in the future and not look back toward the past. Setting up one of the arguments below are a distraction to you, the student (and perhaps a parent reading this), and you're actually doing yourself a disservice by ruminating on to these negative thoughts. Like most everything else, academics is a skill that you can learn, and I'm here to help you do that (indeed, my teaching philosophy demands I help you in this manner).
If you want to raise your grade, you'll need to improve some aspects of your academic performance. I'm more than willing to help, but you'll have to initiate contact with me if you want to move forward. In general, human beings don't react well when their expectations are violated; we're simply wired to want things to go our way most of the time. You're human for feeling hurt, helpless, disappointed, or even angry when things don't go your way. This doesn't mean that you have to give into your immediate reaction. Step back, take a moment to consider that you're enrolled in college to better your future, not approve of or change your past (again, this assumes that you've come to college to learn, not just to get a piece of paper).
Please remember: I grade to an absolute scale, not a relative one that takes your excuse into account, no matter how valid you believe it is. You don't deserve any particular grade, you earn your grade. Your grade isn't based off of how hard you work for it, it only depends on the final result that I have in front of me. I understand that you might have a self-imposed or externally-imposed reason for not achieving excellence (unfortunately, I believe American culture [amongst others] inordinately prioritizes emotional comfort before problem solving, which is a severe disservice to many students), but let's take the time and effort to figure out how to work with what you've got to give for the remainder of the term.
(Interestingly, it appears that others, including historians, mathematicians (and again), physicists, chemists, and even anti-theists[?] feel the same way as I about this issue)
"I Want to Discuss a Grade You've Given Me On An Exam"
Firstly, if you want to discuss a grade, you must do it in person during my office hours or other appointed time. I won't take grade change requests before, during, or immediately after class (unless it's for the reason stated above).
Secondly, you can't bring any exam to me until at least one week following the date I return them to you unless you want me to change it for the reason stated above. In that one week, become familiar with this document in order to understand the reasons why I probably won't change your grade.
Secondly, you can't bring any exam to me until at least one week following the date I return them to you unless you want me to change it for the reason stated above. In that one week, become familiar with this document in order to understand the reasons why I probably won't change your grade.
What Will Work: Improving as a Student-Scholar
If you received a grade you don't like, let's work on your study habits, writing, comprehension abilities, etc. together. Although you won't change any grade in the past this way, you will improve yourself and your grades in the future. If you knew everything, you wouldn't be in college, so let's use your time here for the better. My guess is that you'll actually feel good about your efforts after all is said and done. If you need a starting point, read my FAQ here.
Remember, you must also get used to simply accepting where you are in life at the moment. It might not be an "A" student in my class, but.. that's ok... it's ok by me, and it's ok by the world.
Remember, you must also get used to simply accepting where you are in life at the moment. It might not be an "A" student in my class, but.. that's ok... it's ok by me, and it's ok by the world.
What Won't Work: Arguing for a Better Grade
Setting aside time to argue with me about your grade wastes your time and your energy, so my hope here is to save you time and to get you back on the path toward academic excellence. Given that human beings are an argumentative species, my guess is that most are fairly good at casual arguing and it's an easy go-to solution for many people. I've noticed that a few professors encourage their students to come to them as they believe it helps their students to express themselves more clearly, etc. Maybe so, but there are also professors and employers who will admire you for learning from your mistakes and improving. I am of the latter crowd (and have been in both the position of a professor and an employer). Some may view my attitude as "old fashioned" and, perhaps, "unrealistic." Again, maybe so, but you're going to have to learn to successfully navigate life amongst people (including employers, who hold your job in station) who are these things, too.
Since you're in college, however, if you're coming to me with an argument, there's probably an element of your academics that needs improvement. We could use that time constructively, to help you improve as a student and as a scholar or we could use that time non-constructively while I continually refuse to raise your grade. The bottom line is this: arguments are distracting to all involved; if you need to improve your academic abilities you will lose valuable opportunities (particularly time) for me to help you and for you to help yourself.
Most likely you want to argue because you're unwilling to accept that you need to improve in the areas I've pointed out to you. Arguing will not help you improve in those areas, it will only reinforce bad habits and you'll only practice a skill you've already mastered to some extent. Also, it might put you in an "alternate reality" of sorts from within which you'll never be able to improve or concentrate on your studies because you'll fail to put forth effort in those areas. In other words, arguing is not only a distraction, but it's an excuse to ignore the root cause of the low grade--your need to improve, better yourself, and face your inner deficiencies head on. It will be particularly difficult to face yourself if you're commonly argumentative or querulent (and even worse if you're proud of it), or if you don't have good mechanisms to deal with expectation violation or stress, but it's never too late to try to temper these tendencies. This will be difficult for you if you've been in an environment that promotes self-esteem over the virtues of struggle. I sympathize; but nonetheless, you'll learn far more if you can accept your disappointment in yourself than you will if you try to avoid it by displacing your pain onto someone else (me, usually).
That being written, I understand that the student-teacher relationship is adversarial to an extent. I realize that I have a form of control over your future through grades (or, at least a student perceives it this way). This already creates tension between the student and professor that can't easily be remedied. However, if you attempt to change your grade through pleading, entreaties, disrespectful behavior, some form of duress or threat, or siccing your parents on me, you won't get very far. Not only that, by bringing these types of arguments to me, you've set both of us up to have an even greater adversarial relationship; not only do I hold something you want that you didn't get (i.e. a higher grade), but if you take the time and energy to argue, I'll not validate your efforts when I refuse to change your grade. Also, there's a chance that if you carry on you'll violate the student code of conduct, which could affect you for a longer time period than any (what you perceive to be) low grade.
Since you're in college, however, if you're coming to me with an argument, there's probably an element of your academics that needs improvement. We could use that time constructively, to help you improve as a student and as a scholar or we could use that time non-constructively while I continually refuse to raise your grade. The bottom line is this: arguments are distracting to all involved; if you need to improve your academic abilities you will lose valuable opportunities (particularly time) for me to help you and for you to help yourself.
Most likely you want to argue because you're unwilling to accept that you need to improve in the areas I've pointed out to you. Arguing will not help you improve in those areas, it will only reinforce bad habits and you'll only practice a skill you've already mastered to some extent. Also, it might put you in an "alternate reality" of sorts from within which you'll never be able to improve or concentrate on your studies because you'll fail to put forth effort in those areas. In other words, arguing is not only a distraction, but it's an excuse to ignore the root cause of the low grade--your need to improve, better yourself, and face your inner deficiencies head on. It will be particularly difficult to face yourself if you're commonly argumentative or querulent (and even worse if you're proud of it), or if you don't have good mechanisms to deal with expectation violation or stress, but it's never too late to try to temper these tendencies. This will be difficult for you if you've been in an environment that promotes self-esteem over the virtues of struggle. I sympathize; but nonetheless, you'll learn far more if you can accept your disappointment in yourself than you will if you try to avoid it by displacing your pain onto someone else (me, usually).
That being written, I understand that the student-teacher relationship is adversarial to an extent. I realize that I have a form of control over your future through grades (or, at least a student perceives it this way). This already creates tension between the student and professor that can't easily be remedied. However, if you attempt to change your grade through pleading, entreaties, disrespectful behavior, some form of duress or threat, or siccing your parents on me, you won't get very far. Not only that, by bringing these types of arguments to me, you've set both of us up to have an even greater adversarial relationship; not only do I hold something you want that you didn't get (i.e. a higher grade), but if you take the time and energy to argue, I'll not validate your efforts when I refuse to change your grade. Also, there's a chance that if you carry on you'll violate the student code of conduct, which could affect you for a longer time period than any (what you perceive to be) low grade.
What if I take your class and don't like my grade or feel I'm doing better than my grade reflects?
If you've decided to enroll in one of my classes (and I certainly hope you do!), by doing so, you’ve submitted yourself to be evaluated by an expert in the subject (me), and my opinion of your work might differ from yours. This will, most likely, cause you some discomfort. If it's any consolation, I have to do the same thing withing my peer group all the time, and they often do not fully approve of my work either, but I become a better scholar, researcher, and writer when I listen to and apply their critiques.
I do sympathize to an extent if you're upset about a low mark earned by your writing: there's a good chance that some or many of your professors haven't taken the time to carefully evaluate your writing in the past. This fact, fortunately for you, won't suppress my belief that you can learn to write and learn to write well. But, no matter how bad things get in your opinion, I won’t ever lose faith in your ability to improve no matter how far down you feel.
I do sympathize to an extent if you're upset about a low mark earned by your writing: there's a good chance that some or many of your professors haven't taken the time to carefully evaluate your writing in the past. This fact, fortunately for you, won't suppress my belief that you can learn to write and learn to write well. But, no matter how bad things get in your opinion, I won’t ever lose faith in your ability to improve no matter how far down you feel.
What if I don't like my grade and want to do something about it?
If you want to improve in anticipation of the the next assignment or test, please come and see me prior to a test or assignment due date we’ll work on it. Believe me—the benefits of this tactic far outweigh practicing post-facto arguments, which will not raise your grade. Given how few students come to their professors, anymore, it's very likely that I'll be in alone my office working on something that's easily interrupted. Indeed, if you come to my office during open office hours, you're a certain priority over anything I might be working on! If you didn't do well on your first assignment or essay, come by and we'll work on it! Most of all, don't give up! You can take charge of your own education and use it to better yourself!
Ok, well, what I meant was: what if I don't like my grade, can I gripe about it to you?
In general, you're always welcome to express your feelings to me. If I've legitimately mis-graded your paper through a mistake, let me know. I grade without prejudice or personal bias of any kind, and I grade the same assignment (or portion of an assignment) all in one day in order to maximize consistency.
If you don't want to go this route (or read on), this might help in some way.
If you don't want to go this route (or read on), this might help in some way.
What arguments won't work to raise a grade, etc.
For your information, I've provided a list of the arguments I've heard (directly or indirectly) that won't gain you any traction. If you find that you habitually use these types of arguments, if you find that you're unable to find fault in your own work, or if you often believe that poor grades are the product of some form of conspiracy, this list is an important one for you to read.
Please remember: I grade to a consistent standard that truly requires excellence from you in order for you to earn a high mark (and to me, any passing mark is a "good" mark). I will grade you on your final product and only your final product. At any one time, your abilities, available time, medical condition, etc., may not allow you to perform to the standards required for a high mark, but you can always come to me for help, and we'll see if we can get you to work within your limits and capabilities at that moment.
If, after reading all of this you still want to argue, check to see if your excuse/argument is on the list (or if it's some variation thereof); if it is, then your grade will not change nor will it have any chance of changing. I do want to listen to your concerns, but I think it's fair to let you know that I'm immune to the following:
Please remember: I grade to a consistent standard that truly requires excellence from you in order for you to earn a high mark (and to me, any passing mark is a "good" mark). I will grade you on your final product and only your final product. At any one time, your abilities, available time, medical condition, etc., may not allow you to perform to the standards required for a high mark, but you can always come to me for help, and we'll see if we can get you to work within your limits and capabilities at that moment.
If, after reading all of this you still want to argue, check to see if your excuse/argument is on the list (or if it's some variation thereof); if it is, then your grade will not change nor will it have any chance of changing. I do want to listen to your concerns, but I think it's fair to let you know that I'm immune to the following:
Argumentum ad Ignorantiam
- “I didn’t understand the assignment.”
- “I didn’t understand what you wanted.”
- “I thought this is was what you wanted.”
- “This is all/what I had in my notes.”
- “I thought that’s what this [concept / word / idea] meant.”
- “Well, I wrote [X], but I really meant [Y], but I didn’t know what [concept / word / idea] to use at the time.”
Arguments from Self Esteem
- “But I felt really good about this!”
- “I know I am good at this, and your grade doesn’t accurately reflect my [talent / abilities / expertise].”
- “Everyone [particularly my close friends and family] says I’m a great [writer / student, etc.]!”
- "Grading me to an absolute scale discourages me. Can't you encourage me by telling me that I'm doing a good job by giving me a grade higher than that which I've earned?" (No, I care about you too much to lie to you.)
- I've already written [number] self-published book[s]!"
- "I've improved a lot, can't you see that?" or some form of "I think you should grade me based on how much I improve, not on how well I do."
Ad Hominem Arguments
- "You're being too harsh / unfair." (or some variation thereof)
- "Your [assigned grade / comments / replies, etc.] are/border on [some sort of harassment / malpractice / bad faith / cruelty / mental abuse / sarcasm / sadism, etc.]!"
- "You're [mean / too difficult / no fun / a party pooper / not fair / too strict]!"
- "You've (in some goofy / obscure / convoluted way) violated the [academic / faculty] code of conduct (usually some sort of "hostile environment" clause) by [giving me the grade you did / writing your comments the way you did / grading my work the way you did / using the color ink you did / grading my grammar to an accepted standard]!"
- "I didn't like the tone of your comments [so, somehow, you're supposed to take this into account when actually assigning a grade to me]!"
Arguments born from Conspiracy Theories
- “You obviously have something against me [personally]!”
- “You can’t accept someone thinking differently than you.”
- “Just because I didn’t write [paper / answer, etc.] like you wanted me to doesn’t mean I didn’t get this right!”
- “You obviously graded me [in whatever manner] because you wanted to [push/pull] the curve!”
- "You don't know me personally [for whatever reason / because I didn't come or rarely came to class / because I didn't come to see you in your office hours / the class was too large], and you're counting that against me!"
- "I didn't stand out in class to you, and you're grading me down because of that!"
- Some form of, "[there's obviously some form of conspiracy], because it's pretty obvious that given the [time / effort / thought / etc.] I put into this, [there's no way I could have received a grade this low / I certainly deserve a better grade]."
- "You're trying to personally [intimidate / harass / embarrass, etc.] me with [this grade / your comments / the color ink you used]!"
Arguments from Past Glories
- “I have never received anything less than an/a X on an assignment!”
- “This is the first time I’ve ever received a grade this low!”
- “I graduated in the top [X] percentile of my class!”
- “Everyone comes to me for [writing / studying, etc.] advice!”
- “This is the way my [X] (e.g. high school, [usually a beloved English teacher]) [professor / teacher] taught me how to write papers and he/she always loved my work.”
- "Other professors have always told me that I'm [a great writer / the most wonderful student ever / the greatest human being that's ever lived, incapable of doing wrong]!"
Arguments from Effort
- “I worked really hard on this!” (For the sake of not boring me right off the bat, please have a heart and not use this excuse.)
- “Doesn’t my effort count for something?”
- “My [mom / dad / brother / sister / close friend / son / daughter] helped me on this and we worked really hard!”
- "I'm having [some sort of disaster happen] and this is the best that I can do!"
- "My son was angry because he had to come home and work on [my assignment] the entire weekend!" (Yes, this happened, and I informed this student that her assignment had to be zeroed out since she admitted to cheating on it. She dropped the class immediately.)
Arguments from Relativity
- “This is just a ???-level course, why do you have to grade so hard?”
- "Well, you said to do it [X] way, but you didn't say not to do it [Y] way." (An pre-law student at a slimy, deservedly defunct university used this one on me; go figure.)
- “This is just a [gen-ed requirement / summer course / etc.].”
- “History isn’t my major." or "I'm an [engineering / journalism / fine arts / English / you name it] major" or "I’m not a historian.”
- “In the greater scheme of the world, this [paper, test] doesn't mean much / anything, why do you grade so hard?”
- "I have [children / a family / a full-time job / other responsibilities], why won't you take those things into account?"
- "I had to [take a test / go to court / clean up dog doo, etc.] so I couldn't perform the way you needed me to."
Arguments from Temporality
- “I didn’t have enough time to complete my assignment/the test.” (I will always give more time on an exam if you have the proper paperwork that allows for it.)
- “I couldn’t get into the writing center.”
- “I have a disability that slows my time to completion” (if this is truly the case, you’ll be given extra time, etc., if you properly register with the disability services office).
- "I'm a [single parent / babysitting / housesitting / busy person] and I just can't put any more time into your class!"
Arguments from Extortion/Intimidation
- “If you don’t raise my grade, I’m going to get [angry / snotty / prissy] to show you how I really feel inside and make you suffer emotionally.”
- "If you don't change my grade, I'm going to report you to [academic conduct board. department chair, dean, provost, faculty/student senate, or whatever organization handles these things]!"
- "If you don't reassess my work, I'm going to have my [mother / father / some sort of guardian] call you/get involved!"
- “I’m going to give you a bad review!” (or, tongue in cheek and again)
- “I’m going to [faint / hyperventilate / have some other catastrophic disaster happen]!” (The first one happened to me.)
- “If you don’t change my grade, I’m going to all the way to the top!”
Argumentum ad Consequentiam
- “I need an X (grade) to keep my [scholarship / eligibility / future job prospects].” (I always hear this AFTER the term's basically over when it's nearly all-too late.)
- “My [parents / brother / guardian, etc.] will [kill / destroy / maim] [me / my dog / my sister or brother] if I get anything less than a [grade]!”
- “If I don’t get a good grade (usually meaning an A), I won’t [whatever] and my future will be ruined!” See also.
Argumentum ad Populum
- "A lot of people in the course feel the same way I do!"
- "None of my other professors grade [like this / this hard]!"
- "I was talking to [another professor / my adviser / my best friend / my parent(s)] and they don’t understand [why you grade so hard / what you’re trying to accomplish / etc.]."
Logic-Defying Arguments (not that all of these haven't been)
- "I'm very frustrated!"
- "I took your class so that I could get an easy A!" (Yeah, someone had the huevos to tell me this.)
- "You don't know me or what I've been through!"
- "You just don't understand what it's like to be a student nowadays!"
- "I can't put any more [time / effort] into your class!" (So, I'm supposed to give you a better grade for the very thing that caused you to earn the lower grade you're complaining about?)
- "I paid a lot of money to attend [this institution]!"
- "Just because I [didn't / rarely] came to class, doesn't mean I didn't learn the material!" (Apparently it did.)
- "I'm never taking another course from [you / this instructor] again [so you should change my grade]!"
- "I find your [grade / comments / ink color / etc.] very offensive / rude!"
- "You've taken the fun out of [history / cultural studies / whatever]!"
- "I just want a degree!"
- Some form of "You need to change the way you [teach / grade, etc.] so that you conform to my standards!"
- "No other professors have wanted [X] done this way [so, implicitly, you should change to be more like them]." (You're in college to learn, and "learn" means new things, not things you already know.)
- "I read your instructions, but then found some instructions [somewhere else] that worked better for me, so I used those instead." (Yeah...just when I thought I had heard it all, I got this one.)
- ...and then I got something really similar again (although, to his credit, this student wasn't asking for a grade revision, just for more help--so.. that's really appreciated, but I just had to put it up here on general principle)! To wit: "[I downloaded the Word template you provided that had the directions and was already formatted properly so that all I had to do was replace the samples with my own work so that I didn't lose points for formatting, but] I have only been saving the directions from the written assignment portion to [my own] Word document to reference as I go." So, even though I provided a full template to this student, he/she only downloaded it for the top-level directions therein.
- "I'm willing to let [the way you graded this problem / assignment / etc.] 'slide,' but we have to work something out on this other stuff!" (Hunh? You're willing to let some of my grading "slide?" This was a student with severe narcissistic tendencies and an anger management problem, to boot. Who says teaching is easy? I didn't "work anything out" with this student, BTW, so he went on an idiotic internet rampage against me.)
Miscellany
(These are probably internalized excuses that you'd not bring to be in person, but that you would act on in other ways.)
(These are probably internalized excuses that you'd not bring to be in person, but that you would act on in other ways.)
- "You're too [difficult / unrealistic] so why bother trying?"
- "I'll show you just how [unreasonable / unrealistic] you are by purposefully [holding back / being a pain / being a smartass in class / being obstinate / yawning loudly while you're lecturing / packing up before class ends / etc.]."
- "I'll undermine your authority by [recruiting my classmates to my side / gathering the other students who feel that same as me]. We'll show ya!"
- "I can't do well, anyhow. I guess this is as good as I'll ever do."
- "I thought professors and students had a tacit deal: I don't gripe much and you give me at least a B. Did I hear wrong?" (Yes, you did.)
- Some form of "I'll just keep arguing with him until he sees things my way!" (No, I won't.)
- "Wolverines!!!!!!!!" (Ok.. this one didn't happen...)
Arguments Specific to How I Grade Your Writing
(I have a page dedicated to this here.)
(I have a page dedicated to this here.)
- "I signed up for a history class, not an English class!"
- "I can't learn the course's content because I'm placing so much effort into writing!" (Writing about things directly related to the course's content, mind you...)
- "Everyone says my writing is great so why am I getting such low marks in here?"
- "I'm just here to get a degree [not to learn anything]!"
- "These marks on my writing are making me unhappy!"
- "My ego is bruised because of how you've graded my writing!" (This is one that a lot of people feel but are unwilling to verbalize directly, so it turns into one of the others you see above.)
- "I know a well-defined rubric was given to me well in advance, but taking off for me ignoring the rubric several times in my paper [just isn't fair / some form of conspiracy / is about me personally, not the rubric, itself / mean / rude / unfair] [even though you took off for these things in others' papers and I didn't even bother to bring you mine for review before I turned it in]!"